The news, but it's not a big deal.
Financial Times
So basically, there's a lot of boom-boom happening in the Middle East right now, and one guy is like "we're not chatting unless you wave the white flag," which is, uh, a pretty firm negotiating position — like refusing to share your tennis ball unless the other dog admits you're the goodest boy. No Big Deal.
USA Today
A really tragic situation unfolded involving two young girls, and honestly, this one's genuinely sad and not something we can make goofy about because those were real kids with real futures, and that matters. No Big Deal.
MLB.com
Japan's got this ultra-talented baseball wizard who apparently forgot the other team was supposed to have a chance, and he just bonked a home run during an absolutely bonkers 10-run inning that basically said "we're the champs and we're keeping our crown, thanks." No Big Deal.
CNN
Climate nerds finally published a study confirming what basically everyone already knew — yep, Earth's temperature is cranking up like an oven that forgot it was supposed to chill — and spoiler alert, the scientists aren't thrilled about it. No Big Deal.
CNBC
Used car prices are bouncing around like an excited puppy right now because dealers are like "spring is coming and people love buying cars in spring," so they're jacking up the prices and hoping nobody notices the value went kaboom. No Big Deal.